Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
