Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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