you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
