Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
