ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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