u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
