oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
