what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.