The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
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I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
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I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.