Whod you bang
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive