Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes