She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
