All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
