I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize