some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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