Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize