Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
