whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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