every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
