I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
