I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Randomize
