mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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