I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
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you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
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Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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