If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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