My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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