What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I seem to have left my pride at pride
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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