So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
