Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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