My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
