I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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