Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
