Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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