plz talk dirty to me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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