she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
