vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
