Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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