Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.