Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off