I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I have fence marks all over my body
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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