So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize