Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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