Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
