Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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