all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my shit smells like andre
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
