do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
