maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.