That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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