I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
