Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
