I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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