Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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