I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
