And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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