I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
