How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
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