Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
