Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
