bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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