The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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