We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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