I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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